Finding Gratitude.

Good morning my sweet friends.

This is not a makeup related post, though I have been trying two palettes from CColor Cosmetics and they are rocking my baby socks off.

Anyway, today I’m finding gratitude. I feel like since I have been sick this go round, I haven’t been my usual sunshiney self. Not as happy, not as easy, and definitely a little slack in the gratitude department.

I have lab results coming soon. I always try to reflect before I get them, because really, at this point, I never fully know what to expect or even what I’m hopeful for.  The results of the last labs left me in a puddle of my own tears and another inch closer to a mental breakdown. Not because they were off. But because they were completely normal.

I know.

Let me say that louder for the people in the back.

I was “this” close to a mental break down, because my last labs were completely normal. Kidney function, Liver function, TSH, T3, T4. CBC. All within normal thresholds.

Being sick is not easy. Especially when on the day the lab results come in, you’re so sick you can barely walk without falling and you’ve gone from being the most active person you know to being in bed more than being up right.

However, with the help of my new doc and a different mindset from yours truly…maybe we can kick this thing into remission. What ever it happens to be.

No matter what they show. I will be grateful. No inflammation means what ever I have going on isn’t Lupus related. That would eliminate the need for Methotrexate, which I’m scheduled to start on April 4. This would only leave Neurology.  If my inflammation markers are high, then I am in a flare. And while it’s been a long ass flare, I’ll be grateful that there is medicine available to me to whip my immune system back into shape.

Either way, when my lab comes back, I want to find peace. Because peaceful and calm have not been my modus operandi for the last 5 months.

( Well. They did call, and said they wouldn’t release my lab results until I come back for my appointment on the 4th. I’m assuming that if there was anything terribly amiss they would have addressed it? Anyway, I’ve been sick since October, another week shouldn’t be too bad. Hopefully.)



So thankful for:

My family. Philip. My job. Fuzzy blankets. Healthcare. Health Insurance. Vegetables. Sleep. Sunshine.


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